Sinister Thoughts and Musings

It comes. I can feel it. Spreading everywhere. Taking over … Consuming, caressing, and intensifying Everything I feel. Darkness. It eats me whole and leaves me raw. The power of it holding me down, Making it impossible to breathe. Where do I end and it begins? Is there a difference? I don’t think so. It’s gone on for so long that it’s taken over me. Light? Killed, maimed, and lost … To weak to survive what’s inside. Did it have a chance? God I wish it did, Because then I would have won the battle. Not going to happen. To weak, lost, scared, Fucked up, and beyond relief. Use to care, what happened? When did I let it win? Why did I let it win? So lost, need to be found. Will you? Please do, if not then fuck it and fuck you. I asked, surprised that I did. Souls. Does anybody have a soul? I don’t think so, they are all gone. Escaped. Lucky them, wish I had thought of that. Damn it! Where is mine? Is it ...

The first chip is the hardest to break Once it’s gone, the rest if the armor Falls free from its resting place But the armor surrounding you Was just an illusion You put it there To make you feel free To make you feel strong Once the illusion is gone The blood flows free Leaving you nothing but An empty shell The panic takes Your breath and Seizes your heart You need the pain to leave If only for a second You would trade your life Just for a moment of peace You crave the armor back Just the illusion of it The illusion is better than The empty reality of nothing The nothing you have left