Family - Blood Ties
My YouTube channel (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBb0hYhwX7CFpm8B706Pt6Q), Twitter account (@SinisterTandM), and website (blog.sinisterthoughtsandmusings.com).
Hello family 💕(and I do mean family, I consider you all to be part of my extended family)
Family is important but unfortunately you don't always get the family you need and deserve by blood. Sometimes you have to go out and find them. I want to talk about my family that I got though blood and my chosen family that I got though luck.
I come from a large family but only have a small circle of them in my life, the rest have no idea who I am. I love talking to the ones that I have because they are the keepers of my past. We have a shared bond and memories. They remember and talk about all the crazy stuff that I did as a kid and I love hearing that stuff.
I am my mother's youngest child and my grandmother's youngest grandchild. I am and always will be the baby. A little spoiled and a little (a lot) stubborn. My sisters and cousins were quite a bit older then I was but I was lucky, my cousin Shawn was the youngest of his family and the second youngest grandchild. He was only three years older then I was and we grew up down the street from each other.
Now Shawn and I had a love/hate relationship, we tormented each other constantly, fought verbally and sometimes physically. I hated him 50% of the time and he was my best friend the other 50%. We even had chicken pox together albeit he had it for less then a week and I had it for 6 weeks.
We lost Shawn last November and his death hit me really hard. We had fallen out of touch and I had no idea he was sick until just before his death. I was lucky to be able to see him one last time in his hospital room where we reminisced, laughed, and cried together. Losing him was like losing a huge connection to my past.
Now my relationship with my sisters was a whole other story. They are much older then I am so I kind of grew up as an only child. My two oldest sisters were already off starting their adult lives and families.They all grew up together with their father and our mother so they always seem to have a connection that I wasn't part of.
Most of the time growing up it was just my mother and I, my relationship with her will be a whole separate story. My dad left before I was born so I never knew who he was. I know his name, that he was married, had other kids, and that I sleep like him ... that's it. I never really felt like I was missing anything in him, I had a life full of people, and for somebody who likes to be alone a lot, sometimes overwhelmingly full.
It seems like my mother was the keeper of the connections. When she died I didn't know who was who, their phone numbers, or where they lived. And to be honest at the time of her death, I was really too messed up to care. The people who did reach out at that time were so busy telling me what I need to do and how to do it that I shut them all down and out. Getting out of bed was hard enough without family telling me that I had to do what they wanted on top of that.
So now, due to my social awkwardness and dislike for reaching out to people I only have a handful of blood relatives that I have any form of relationship with. This has led me to making a non blood family that I love and they deserve a post of their own.
So until next time .... stay sinister 😈💜
Hello family 💕(and I do mean family, I consider you all to be part of my extended family)
Family is important but unfortunately you don't always get the family you need and deserve by blood. Sometimes you have to go out and find them. I want to talk about my family that I got though blood and my chosen family that I got though luck.
I come from a large family but only have a small circle of them in my life, the rest have no idea who I am. I love talking to the ones that I have because they are the keepers of my past. We have a shared bond and memories. They remember and talk about all the crazy stuff that I did as a kid and I love hearing that stuff.
I am my mother's youngest child and my grandmother's youngest grandchild. I am and always will be the baby. A little spoiled and a little (a lot) stubborn. My sisters and cousins were quite a bit older then I was but I was lucky, my cousin Shawn was the youngest of his family and the second youngest grandchild. He was only three years older then I was and we grew up down the street from each other.
Now Shawn and I had a love/hate relationship, we tormented each other constantly, fought verbally and sometimes physically. I hated him 50% of the time and he was my best friend the other 50%. We even had chicken pox together albeit he had it for less then a week and I had it for 6 weeks.
We lost Shawn last November and his death hit me really hard. We had fallen out of touch and I had no idea he was sick until just before his death. I was lucky to be able to see him one last time in his hospital room where we reminisced, laughed, and cried together. Losing him was like losing a huge connection to my past.
Now my relationship with my sisters was a whole other story. They are much older then I am so I kind of grew up as an only child. My two oldest sisters were already off starting their adult lives and families.They all grew up together with their father and our mother so they always seem to have a connection that I wasn't part of.
Most of the time growing up it was just my mother and I, my relationship with her will be a whole separate story. My dad left before I was born so I never knew who he was. I know his name, that he was married, had other kids, and that I sleep like him ... that's it. I never really felt like I was missing anything in him, I had a life full of people, and for somebody who likes to be alone a lot, sometimes overwhelmingly full.
It seems like my mother was the keeper of the connections. When she died I didn't know who was who, their phone numbers, or where they lived. And to be honest at the time of her death, I was really too messed up to care. The people who did reach out at that time were so busy telling me what I need to do and how to do it that I shut them all down and out. Getting out of bed was hard enough without family telling me that I had to do what they wanted on top of that.
So now, due to my social awkwardness and dislike for reaching out to people I only have a handful of blood relatives that I have any form of relationship with. This has led me to making a non blood family that I love and they deserve a post of their own.
So until next time .... stay sinister 😈💜
Comments
Post a Comment