Sinister Thoughts and Musings

The mist is slowly creeping towards me as I sit by the edge of the deep encumbering lake. The light of the full moon, slowly covering me, barely starts to break though the dark menacing clouds to make its presence known. The only sound I hear is the chilling whisper of the bitter wind as it flows over the lake, though me, and on into the trees that are looming just behind me. I need to brace myself for the journey though the foreboding trees that stand between me and that what I desire most. I know that a crossroad awaits me once I reach the middle of those trees. It contains two immensely different paths leading into opposite directions. It is here, in this forbidden place, where I sit with the pain of indecision overwhelming me as I try to make the choice of which path to take. The necessity to choose is undermining everything else in my heart and my head. It feels like I am sinking into a gaping sea of desperation. Not wanting but needing to finally choose which path to take. ...

Touch me. You make me tremble, shatter, and feel whole inside. It holds me back from the abyss. Once there love, hate, happiness, despair will be no more. All feeling gone. Walking though the darkness, seeking the light. The abyss hides, consumes it so well that you could search for an eternity, never finding it. Even those with the souls of the immortals could never find what you seek. The abyss. It makes me tremble, shatter, and feel empty inside. I fear it as much as I fear myself. The fear I have for myself haunts and consumes me. Why do I fear myself? I fear the ability to shut down, to shut off. Stop caring Stop feeling Stop wanting Sometimes it’s the only way to survive. Is it really surviving if you are empty inside? You and the abyss do the same thing to me. You fill me while it empties me. I need you to counteract its ravaging of me, my soul.